Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

It is astonishing what havoc is wrought in psychology by admitting at the outset apparently innocent suppositions that nevertheless contain a flaw.

Should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.

In discussing our various longings for more, I'm not suggesting we adopt Scrooge as a role model for good parenting. I am suggesting that it is important for families and individuals to aggressively seek more of the virtues which go beyond this mortal life. A prayerful, conservative approach is the key to successfully living in an affluent society and building the qualities that come from waiting, sharing, saving, working hard, and making do with what we have. May we be blessed with the desire and the ability to understand when more is really less and when more is better.

At the conclusion of every general conference, I experience a longing for more—more of the serenity of the occasion, more of the companionship of the Spirit, more of the nurturing that has brightened and blessed my soul.

Soon after arriving home from World War II, I had “promises to keep”—meaning going on a mission now. I grew tired of waiting for the bishop. And in some early ark-steadying, I went to the bishop’s home and said I had saved the money and wanted to go, so let’s “get this show on the road.” The good bishop hesitated, and then said he’d been meaning to ask me about going.

Years later, I would learn from that bishop’s devoted ward clerk that the bishop had felt I needed a little more time with my family after having been away so far and for a tenth of my life. Hearing this, I chastised myself for having been too judgmental.

Our primary purpose was to set up, insofar as possible, a system under which the curse of idleness would be done away with, the evils of the dole abolished, and independence, industry, thrift, and self-respect be once more established amongst our people. The aim of the Church is to help people to help themselves. Work is to be reenthroned as a ruling principle in the lives of our Church membership.

I must conquer my loneliness alone.

I must be happy with myself or I have nothing to offer.

Two halves have little choice but to join, and yes, they do make a whole.

But two wholes, when they coincide . . . that is beauty.

That is love.

RELATIONSHIP COROLLARIES

1. Can I be my own self in this relationship?
2. Am I emotionally honest in expressing my affection?
3. Are we friends first? Romance always follows, it never precedes friendship in a proper relationship.
4. Are we entitled to the presence of the Holy Spirit in our relationship?
5. Am I dating someone I already know I would never marry?
6. Am I the person I know I am when in their presence?
7. Does being with them make me feel ennobled, that I can be better than I am?
8. Am I being real in this relationship?
9. Does this relationship allow me to express my needs and concerns in my own way?
10. Is this relationship built on respect?

CONCLUSION: Selecting an eternal companion is the freest decision we will ever make in mortality. It therefore requires the most effort in making the determination that we will then counsel with the Lord about. We need to bend every effort to learn if our potential companion is what and who we want eternally. Then, and only then, can you expect confirmation from the Lord concerning your decision.

The foundation of that isn't some ideal of romantic love. It's a commitment based on the goals you share. And real love, married love, is not what you start with -- it's what you create together along the way.

How foolish, when our young people wait to find love, or to have God show them their foreordained mate, instead of rationally looking at the eligible people and choosing someone who can and will live up to the commitment of marriage, someone with shared faith, someone with whom you can establish friendship and affection.

All marriages are between strangers. And sometimes it's the boring man who'll make the best husband, the plain woman who'll make the best mother.

It takes time to come to know the other person; it take time for each of you to become someone new and different and perfectly adapted to the other. You'll be there through the whole process, though, because your commitment is stronger than the bands of death.

But as that knowledge grows, so does the real love, the deep love. Compared to the thick, strong fabric of married love, romantic love is a Kleenex. You can't make anything out of it. It's disposable -- there's always another in the box.