Let me give you an example of how we learned about each other and ourselves after marriage. On those rare occasions when we could afford to go out I would ask Jan where she wanted to go. Invariably she would say it doesn’t matter. As a guy, hearing that, my thought are “it’s my choice” so when I arrive at a Mexican restaurant to hear, “I don’t want to eat here” didn’t sit well with me. This happened time and time again so we talked about it. I explained that it hurts when you say you don’t mind and then I make a choice and you disagree with it. Her thought was “I don’t want to always pick the place every time.” My thought, “Its okay with me I want you to be happy.” So how to resolve this. There is no magic in resolution, in fact the actual resolution doesn’t matter, and it’s just the process in coming up with one you both feel good about. In our case if she really had an preference she needs to make it know. If there were several possibilities its okay to say I don’t care. But instead of me then driving to one of my choice we learned I needed to make some suggestions of various possibilities. If one of those was in her preference list she could then make the choice known. If any of my suggestions fits it would then be okay to say, “any of those are okay with me” but before driving to one of them I would make the choice and when she agreed we drove off. Now this may sound cumbersome but it was just our little attempt to meet our individual needs in a real life situation. And the process of learning how to do that is what developing an eternal relationship is all about.