Mortal probation requires that God’s children make conscious choices. Were it otherwise, we could not determine who we really are and what we really want. It is of this area—where no specific counsel or commandments have been given, where it is not known what to do or how to do it—that I refer to. This is the area of which my friend on the Supreme Court said, “It is knowing what’s right that’s hard.”

Throughout our lives we will be required to choose between duty, or obligation, and other more-or-less attractive alternatives. Should we watch television or go visiting teaching? Should we spend time with the family or with friends? Do we read the scriptures or a novel? Do we leave our children home or take them with us? Do we go into debt or do without? Each of these choices, when made, excludes others. Otherwise, there could be no real probation. The designer of the plan of salvation made it that way. By allowing us to discover where our hearts are as the result of the free choices we make, he helps us learn who and what we really are.

Life is much like a decathlon. To fulfill our own potential and to be of service to others requires that we take part in many events. If we attempt to set records in one event, we may fall far short in another. And if we measure our efforts against those of a specialist, we can feel inadequate and even guilty that we don’t do better.

Somewhere between the two extremes of being too busy and not doing anything is that glorious, yet elusive, condition called balance. It’s by approaching the many aspects of our life with a sense of balance that we can be champions in life’s great decathlon.

When we place our perceived genealogical duties into the busy mix of life, we sometimes feel that it is the one event which could break our back. I think we feel that way because we view genealogy as a specialized event rather than one essential event in a decathlon effort. We imagine that to do this work in an acceptable manner we must have a book of remembrance thirty-seven inches thick, census records on every shelf, a permanent seat in the genealogical library, and family group sheets on every table top.

Some specialists are indeed this involved, but we don’t all need to be that involved to make an acceptable genealogical effort.

For each of us, a transcendent blessing is available when we make the right moral choices. It is much easier for those who have a righteous balance to yield “to the enticings of the Holy Spirit” (Mosiah 3:19). Then we can leave behind the attributes of the natural man or woman and become someone much more enlightened. Alma counseled his brethren to “contend no more against the Holy Ghost” (Alma 34:38). The gifts of the Holy Ghost have special strengths for those who study and learn. “He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance” (John 14:26). Yes, “the Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion” (D&C 121:46).

How do these marvelous gifts of the Holy Ghost function? Elder Parley P. Pratt (1807–57) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated: “It quickens all the intellectual faculties; increases, enlarges, expands and purifies all the natural passions and affections; and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. … It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness and charity. It develops beauty of person, form and features. … It develops and invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. It strengthens, invigorates, and gives tone to the nerves. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being.” Persons enjoying these gifts have “light of their countenances,” and their presence is “a warm glow of pure gladness and sympathy.”

In recent years, many seem to have spent their lives protesting. Perhaps they have felt to do this because they have felt repressed or wished to bring about change or have acted out of selfish reasons, thinking that if they tore the house down they might end up with a shingle. Some protesters have said that they have done so in order to be free—free of traditions, free of morals, free of all of the confining standards of society, unrestrained by government or law. Some have been wildly self-indulgent. As Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878–1969) noted, they have “habits that bind them and diseases that curse them and blasted reputations that ruin them.”

Those who have succumbed to this kind of personal disaster often find that the balance in their lives becomes somewhat tilted and uneven. Many people expend far too much precious energy in protesting the rules. Since they did not make the rules, some feel that they should not be restricted by them. Others make a game of testing the fences to see what they can get away with. Some think that by breaking the rules they somehow become stronger or independent. Those who fight the rules spend much time and energy trying to express independence in their quest to find identity. And having traveled far down this road, they find that this is not the road to freedom but to slavery.

Talents, gifts of expression, and precious time are exhausted in swimming against too many tides. I have no hesitancy in suggesting that young men can learn to express themselves better through excellence in the classroom or on the playing field than in gangs or in immoral behavior. Young women can obtain a better identity and receive better notice through academic excellence and artistic expression than through immodesty of dress.

There are times when each of us has to have some gumption to take a stand as to what we wish to preserve or change in order to maintain our self-respect and not be as “a reed shaken with the wind” (Matt. 11:7). We need to take our great stands in life on moral issues and not kick against insignificant matters, appearing to be eccentric or unbalanced or immature. We lose much credibility and strength, and we risk being weighed on an uneven balance, when, Don Quixote–like, we go around “tilting windmills.”

A good sense of humor will help us hone our talents. One of the talents that needs to be greatly magnified is sensitivity to others, and this involves reaching out and touching another heart. By learning not to be afraid ourselves, we are able to stir up kindred feelings for others. Under the cultivation of the Holy Ghost, our talents become greatly magnified.

Balance in large measure is knowing the things that can be changed, putting them in proper perspective, and recognizing the things that will not change. And balance also lies in attitude. May our attitude be one of achieving balance and wisdom and understanding in all that we do.

It is not always easy to achieve appropriate balance. In addition to what we read in the newspapers, we can bring right into our homes in color most of the problems of an entire world. We also have our own personal ups and downs and challenges. The stresses of life are real and rather constant.

There is, however, a defense against adversity: humor. A thoughtful man said, “There is certainly no defence against adverse fortune which is, on the whole, so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.”

...Cultivating good humor may be helpful in finding our own identity. Young people who are trying to find out who they really are often have concerns as to their ability to meet and cope with the challenges that confront them and that lie ahead. They will find that it is easier to ride over the bumps and come quickly to their own identity if they cultivate the good humor that comes naturally. It is important that we all learn to laugh at ourselves.

The Lord hears and answers prayers. Sometimes we tend to give up too soon when we pray to Him. We need to persist.

As an especial witness of Jesus Christ, called to bear testimony to the nations of the world (see D&C 107:25), I testify that He lives. He is our Savior. He knows you, and He knows me. He knows what is on our minds and in our hearts. He will be our advocate with the Father if we keep the covenants we make as we partake of the sacrament each week.

We can overcome the world if we aim to have balance in our lives. If we seek to have the Spirit with us at all times and be faithful in responding to His promptings, we will be blessed.

Answers to our major life decisions will be more likely to produce balance and happiness if they come through the promptings of the Spirit. How do we obtain the Spirit and the answers we seek?

First, let me suggest that we need to attend sacrament meeting every week, and we need to partake of the sacrament. As we do so, we remember Christ and His suffering for us. We covenant, as we did at baptism, that we will take upon us His name. And we renew our covenant to keep the commandments. Why do we do all this? The last clause in the sacrament prayer answers that question: “That they may always have his Spirit to be with them” (D&C 20:77).

Therein lies the key to having the companionship of the Holy Ghost, which will help us answer the vital questions we face. In addition, we should kneel and pray regularly. We should be willing to serve our fellowmen. We should reach out in love, and fear not (see 1 John 4:18).

If we ask the Lord for the Spirit and do what is necessary to have His influence with us, the Spirit will teach us all things. He will help us in our studies. He will help us make decisions about life pursuits. And He will give us peace and a feeling of calmness.

President Gordon B. Hinckley has said: “I want to plead with you to keep balance in your lives. Do not become obsessed with what may be called ‘a gospel hobby.’ A good meal always includes more than one course. You ought to have great strength in your chosen … field of expertise. But I warn you against making that your only interest. …

“… Beware of obsession. Beware of narrowness. Let your interests range over many good fields while working with growing strength in the field of your own profession.”

President Hinckley has also taught that we have a fourfold responsibility—to our families, to our employers, to the Lord, and to ourselves. He has counseled us to “take some time to do a little meditating, to do a little exercise.”

There are those who become professional thinkers. I don’t want to encourage that. So that you don’t misunderstand me, I would like to quote Brigham Young:

“Some think too much, and should labor more. Others labor too much, and should think more, and thus maintain an equilibrium between the mental and physical members of the individual; then you will enjoy health and vigor, will be active, and ready to discern truly, and judge quickly. Is it not your privilege to have discernment to circumscribe all things, no matter what subject comes before you, and to at once know the truth concerning any matter?” (Journal of Discourses, 3:248).