Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

The three basic purposes of the Church should consume our efforts until the end of our mortal lives. There's not much place in the Lord's kingdom for "retirement." In fact, the idea of retirement is, in my opinion, a sick, secular notion. We may retire from an occupation, but we retire to serve missions on both sides of the veil. If we study the literature in the field of stress, we find that the key to staying healthy and vibrant is to stay involved in meaningful projects that continually excite and energize us. Such projects actually retard the degenerative forces in the body and strengthen the immune system; they can literally give us ten or more years of life. I think that's one reason why many of the General Authorities are so active at an advanced age.

Since life is not a careeer but a mission, there's no better retirement concept than the gospel: the work goes on, we're in a constant learning mode, and we continue to grow to the very end of our lives. Every poerson has enormouse capacity, and we must not lose our opportunity to contribute as we get older.

In a society that emphasizes self-satisfaction, many are deserting their families for some kind of “self-fulfillment,” either in their careers or through new and “more meaningful” relationships. There are instances when one must, with spiritual guidance, bring to an end a destructive relationship. But, too often, selfishness dominates and one leaves behind the richest opportunity for growth and eternal self-fulfillment—marriage and family. There is no setting that teaches unselfishness better than the family. And only through love and understanding can ultimate self-fulfillment be achieved.

Can we have it all?

But, my dear granddaughters, you cannot do everything well at the same time. You cannot be a 100 percent wife, a 100 percent mother, a 100 percent church worker, a 100 percent career person, and a 100 percent public-service person at the same time. How can all of these roles be coordinated? Says Sarah Davidson: “The only answer I come up with is that you can have it sequentially. At one stage you may emphasize career, and at another marriage and nurturing young children, and at any point you will be aware of what is missing. If you are lucky, you will be able to fit everything in.” Doing things sequentially—filling roles one at a time at different times—is not always possible, as we know, but it gives a woman the opportunity to do each thing well in its time and to fill a variety of roles in her life. A woman does not necessarily have to track a career like a man does. She may fit more than one career into the various seasons of life. She need not try to sing all of the verses of her song at the same time.

Can we have it all?

Women today are being encouraged by some to have it all—generally, all simultaneously: money, travel, marriage, motherhood, and separate careers in the world. Sarah Davidson, in an article entitled “Having It All,” comments about forging an identity, building a career, developing a craft, and having a family. “I do not yet understand how a woman can successfully split herself between home and the market place. Fifteen years of feminist theory and action have taught us that sacrificing one for the other does not satisfy, but having both together simultaneously is so difficult that no one I know has found anything but the most quirky and incomplete solution.” (Professional Esquire, June 1984, p. 54.) Her article does not deal with the heartaches and frustrations of single parents or others thrust into very difficult circumstances due to divorce, death of spouse, or hardship. Rather, the article focuses on the issue of the woman who is intent on having it all, trying to simultaneously coordinate the roles of professional life, marriage, and motherhood. Some will no doubt disagree with her conclusion, and there may be many exceptions, but she goes on to tell of three women who are partners in a New York law firm and observes that their personal lives are frustrated and unhappy. “The problem, of course, is that family happiness is less clearly definable and more often elusive than career success.”

Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich, and healthy. But then, under those circumstances, work is great too.

What a tragic end to such a gifted beginning! What a pathetic farewell to a life that held such promise! And where did it go wrong? It went wrong when ambition became more important than conviction; when corruption transcended fidelity; when power and wealth created a thirst for material goods that honest living could not satisfy. Could there be sadder words than these from the lips of a BYU-Idaho graduate fifty or sixty or seventy years from today: “Vain pomp and glory of this world, I hate ye. Had I but serv’d my God with half the zeal I serv’d my King [or my company or my country club or my BMW], he would not in mine age have left me naked to mine enemies.”

For BYU-Idaho students it must be the kingdom of God first and forever. Eternal possessions. The restored gospel. Family and friends. Truth and industry and love. Humility and sacrifice and faith. As you stand on the threshold of your bright and beautiful future, may heaven strip from you this very hour, this very instant, any budding taste you may be acquiring for unseemly wealth or authoritarian power or worldly acclaim. I pray you will always have money sufficient for your needs and I pray you will exert a righteous influence wherever life’s journey takes you in the business and professional world, but I ask you not to be lured by the siren song of avarice and greed, or the quest for unrighteous dominion over your fellow men and women.

Student life and student wages should have already taught you that to be happy you do not need the most expensive car, the most fashionable clothing, nor the most elegant furnishings in your home. Furthermore, in the years ahead, neither your self-esteem nor your standing before God will hinge on being at the top of the corporate pyramid.

Don’t advance yourself through compromise. Don’t feather your nest with what you’ve plucked dishonorably from another. Remember that in the end, surely God will be looking only for clean hands, not full ones.

If we are not serving Jesus, and if he is not in our thoughts and hearts, then the things of the world will draw us instead to them! Moreover, the things of the world need not be sinister in order to be diverting and consuming.

For the serious disciple, the cardinal attributes exemplified by Jesus are not optional. These developmental milestones take the form of traits, traits that mark the trail to be traveled. After all, should not Latter-day Saints have a special interest in what is required to become a Saint, virtue by virtue and quality by quality? Hear the words of King Benjamin:

And becometh a saint . . . submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him. [Mosiah 3:19; emphasis added]

These attributes are eternal and portable! Being portable, to the degree developed, they will go with us through the veil of death, and still later they will rise with us in the Resurrection when all else stays behind. Meanwhile, so much of our time is ironically devoted to learning and marketing perishable skills that will soon become obsolete. It isn't just the morticians who will have a vocational crisis in the next world, brother and sisters.

By paying more attention to what we are rather than exclusively to what we do, our public and our private persons will be the same—the man or the woman of Christ. Our intrinsic value is not dependent upon mortal acclaim anyway; in fact, the world may actually see us as weak and foolish (see 1 Cor. 1:27). Countering, however, are divine affirmations, including this one: "The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God" (Rom. 8:16).

God is infinitely more interested in our having a place in His kingdom than with our spot on a mortal organizational chart. We may brood over our personal span of control, but He is concerned with our capacity for self-control. Father wants us to come home, bringing our real résumés, ourselves!

I remember my moment of resolution many years ago, when as an untrained teenager, I secured temporary employment at Christmastime. The work was monotonous. Each hour and each day passed slowly. I resolved then are there that I must obtain an eduacation that would qualify me better for life. I determinded to stay in school and work for an education as though my very life depended upon it.

Later as a stake president I was questioned by many young people about their own educational pursuits. Some asked me how long it took to become a doctor of medicine. "The general pattern would be four years at a univeristy, followed by four years in medical school," I replied. "And if you choose to become a specialist, that could take another five years or more, depending upon your desire."

That occasionally evoked a reaction, "That adds up to thirteen years--and maybe more? That's too long for me!"

"It all depends," I would respond. "Preparation for your career is not too long if you know what you want to do with your life. How old will you be thirteen years from now if you don't pursue your education? Just as old, whether or not you become what you want to be!"

So my counsel then--and now--is to continue your education wherever you are, whatever your interest and opportunity, however you determine you can best serve your family and society.