"In selecting a companion for life and for eternity," said President Spencer W. Kimball, "certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that, of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness"

It should be obvious to you that the Lord is describing a love here that deals with behavior on all 14 points. And behavior isn't something you fall into or out of. Behavior is very definitely something you control and decide. Agency is obviously involved here.

We also know that any commandment by God involves agency. We can obey or disobey, but there is always a choice. When the Lord uses the command form of the verb love in "Thou shalt love thy wife with all they heart, and shall cleave unto her and none else" (D&C 42:22), He is not leaving this love in Cupid's hands. His commandment is a directive, not to the heart, but with the heart, and to the mind with an expectation of thought, reasoning, decision making and obedience--you can't fall out of love if it's a commandment to stay in love.

The person who obtains meekness and lowliness of heart and who enjoys the company of the Holy Ghost will have no desire to offend or hurt others, nor will he feel affected by any offenses received from others. He will treat his spouse and children with love and respect and will have good relationships with everyone he associates with. In occupying positions of leadership in the Church, he will apply the same principles as he does in the home, showing that there is no difference between the person he is when within the walls of his own home and the person he is in his relationship with the members of the Church.

Principles like faith, repentance, love, forgiveness, and prayer, lived in the process I just described, become the best vaccine to combat the disease of sin, which can manifest itself in families in different ways, such as immorality, pride, envy, contention, abuse, and other practices that affect family relationships and that result in pain, deception, and the breakup of family ties.

The decision to incorporate them into our lives and the opportunity to begin the process whenever it may be necessary depends solely on our agency. It is a simple process that is within the reach of all. It is based on the fundamental principles of the gospel that have been and continue to be applied successfully by all those who put their trust in the Lord.

I cannot understand why so many have betrayed in life the decision they once made when the great war occurred in heaven.

But it is evident that the contest between good and evil, which began with that war, has never ended. It has gone on, and on, and on to the present.

RELATIONSHIP COROLLARIES

1. Can I be my own self in this relationship?
2. Am I emotionally honest in expressing my affection?
3. Are we friends first? Romance always follows, it never precedes friendship in a proper relationship.
4. Are we entitled to the presence of the Holy Spirit in our relationship?
5. Am I dating someone I already know I would never marry?
6. Am I the person I know I am when in their presence?
7. Does being with them make me feel ennobled, that I can be better than I am?
8. Am I being real in this relationship?
9. Does this relationship allow me to express my needs and concerns in my own way?
10. Is this relationship built on respect?

CONCLUSION: Selecting an eternal companion is the freest decision we will ever make in mortality. It therefore requires the most effort in making the determination that we will then counsel with the Lord about. We need to bend every effort to learn if our potential companion is what and who we want eternally. Then, and only then, can you expect confirmation from the Lord concerning your decision.

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.

Now, can we, as Latter-day Saints, expect to succeed as we make decisions or attempt to find balance in our lives? As a humble servant of the Lord, I testify that we can.

At the conclusion of the first day of the Savior’s ministry among the Nephites, he taught them to pray. “Ye must always pray unto the Father in my name,” he said.

“And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you.” (3 Ne. 18:19–20.)

I have often thought of this occasion as perhaps the greatest teaching moment in the recorded history of the world. The Nephites had only recently experienced the destruction of their cities, the deaths of their loved ones, the separation of families, the loss of homes and worldly possessions. They had survived turmoil and horror. They had known three days of total impenetrable darkness. Of all the peoples on earth, they had much to pray for.

There are many in this stake who date and date but they are not sure if this is the right one the Lord wants for them. My opinion is that it is not the Lord's decision who we marry. It is our decision. Also, it is my belief that there is not just one person. If someone were to believe this then perhaps if there were any issues later on in marriage we may turn and blame the Lord for allowing us to make such a decision. Look for someone who is attractive to you and who is attracted to you. Look for someone who has the values and goals you hold and pursue that person.

Toward the end of the discussions they asked me to do something the elders had not. They asked me to fast and to pray about the truthfulness of the gospel. I was familiar with fasting. As a Muslim, we fasted during the month of Ramadan, a sacred time for worship.

I fasted, and when I was done, I returned to my dorm room at Dixie College, knelt down on my knees, and simply asked, “Heavenly Father, is the Book of Mormon the word of God? And is Joseph Smith a prophet?”

No, I did not receive a vision or a visit from an angel. I felt warmth in my heart, a feeling I had felt many times before—a feeling I had felt when I attended BYU–Hawaii and took Brother Smith’s Book of Mormon class. It was the same feeling I had felt when I saw the movie about Joseph Smith. This time, however, the feeling of warmth came when I was by myself, and I knew it came from God. He answered my prayer. I had a testimony.

I told the missionaries that I wanted to be baptized, but first I wanted to return to Hawaii so my mother could witness my joining the Church. I thought that as soon as I got off the plane I would find the missionaries and join the Church. Well, that did not happen. I started to hang out with my old friends, and I returned to my old habits. Toward the end of the summer the old feelings of uncertainty and confusion returned.

In August 1986 I was at home in my room, and I decided to read the Bible. I read in John, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). I knew I loved my mother; she is a source of strength in my life. I knew I loved my family, but did I love God?

I knelt down to pray and told my Heavenly Father for the first time that I loved Him. Later that day I was on my way to the gym to play basketball when I noticed two missionaries riding their bikes. I almost ran them over! They pulled to the side of the road, and I asked them to come by my home that night. They thought it was a miracle. The next week I was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Why is prioritizing so difficult? In the abstract, it doesn't sound so tough. You prioritize important goals over less important goals. You prioritize goals that are "critical" ahead of goals that are "beneficial."
But what if we can't tell what's "critical" and what's "beneficial"? Sometimes it's not obvious. We often have to make decisions between one "unknown" and another. This kind of complexity can be paralyzing. In fact, psychologists have found that people can be driven to irrational decisions by too much complexity and uncertainty.
...Tversky and Shafir's study shows that uncertainty--even irrelevant uncertainty--can paralyze us.