Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children.
Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

If Columbus had been a married man, he might never have discovered America: You're going where? With whom? To discover what? Coming back when? And I suppose she's giving you those three ships for nothing?